Parade season has come and gone. I knew it would be a long, cold winter with no more parade candy. I also found out I had one more unexpected opportunity to make a killing.
I woke up August 17th having no clue it was the day of a parade. I soon realized what was going on when gaggles of lawn chairs, and large, obese people started gathering in the sweltering heat. There’s not to many events that will get small town large folk off the couch and on to the street in the middle of summer. This parade just so happen to start directly in front of my driveway.
At the 2008 Viola Gopher Count, my niece Lakota came away empty handed. Her small stature, and lack of dedication to the trade, proved to be the deciding factor. I had approximately one and a half hours to devise a scheme where we could both collect huge amounts of candy, and I wouldn’t be “that guy” elbowing little kids in the street. Equipped with only a cardboard box, some duct tape, a red Sharpie, and a razor blade, came my invention. The Candy Toss 2000.
(Click images to view full-size)
Now instead of having to fight for our candy, entire floats stopped just to take shots at The Candy Toss 2000. Wide-eyed Lakota was soon bombarded with candy.
Lakota is probably still awake at this moment due to the intense amounts of sugar coursing through her veins.
I have bigger and better plans for Viola Gopher Count 2009.
Tags: Humor, Invention, Lakota, Lizzy
