Research Finds Nickelback is Cause of Global Warming
Recently a new study was conducted at the University of Winnipeg that suggests Nickelback is the sole cause of global warming. Scientists namely Timothy Ball who currently holds a Ph.D in Climatology and is the research leader of this study. Scientists have noticed Carbon Dioxide (C02) levels spike up-to 500% whenever Nickelback is about to release a new album, single or perform a tour. As well as C02 levels spiking, there are other toxins released into the air which erode away at the ozone later, they have yet to be identified.
Scientists are currently trying to find a way to prevent further damage to the ozone layer and say that Nickelback may have already caused a massive hole to form in Sydney, Australia when they last toured in 2006. It is rumoured that Nickelback will be touring Australia again sometime soon and scientists fear this could extend the hole by 3 km, which will have devastating effects on Sydney’s homeless population.
Scientists whilst conducting small scale tests have found playing any Nickelback song has the potential to cause serious harm to children, pregnant women, bears and even cats. A scientist is quoted as saying: “We were playing how you remind me by Nickelback to some lab mice and they imploded from the pure deadly radiation and toxic gases that the song released”.
“We didn’t expect to find out Nickelback, who I will admit I was a fan of before being administered the antidote, to be the one and only cause to global warming” – Another scientist was quoted as saying.
Nickelback is rumoured to be activating it’s fan mind manipulation devices to make them demand for them to come to Australia, and soon other countries. Signs have started showing that Nickelback may have switched on it’s mind manipulation beacon devices or device sometime in October, roughly on the 12th of October.
November 21st, 2008 at 12:51 am
In light of these studies shouldn’t there be some kind of global ban on Nickelback? I think they should also have to pay some kind of penalty to every citizen of the world for the damage done because of global warming and their terrible music in general.
June 24th, 2009 at 12:46 am
FUCKING bullshit, if this happened then im sure alot of other bands would be to blame aswell!!!!!!!!!!!, wat kind of bullshit is that story!!!, LOLOLOL u r such a loser dud get a life!!!!
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May 1st, 2011 at 11:55 am
Trollface
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