Okay so just last week I brought you “Let Me Pose A Question“, a story about a small encounter with a pretty dumb human being. This week, I’m bringing you a story about an old senile lady I literally just hung up the phone with.
So let me explain first. We’re in Rochester, affectionately known as the “Med City” due to the Mayo Clinic and everything that entails. Our population is approximately 100,000, and Mayo Clinic employs about 32,000 of them. (of course that’s a skewed stat, but people always refer to it as fact so I will too. It’s skewed because probably half those people don’t live in Rochester, there for, they don’t all count towards our 100,000.) So pretty much every Rochester business is floated by the “tourism” the Clinic and Saint Marys brings to our town. A big part of the Mayo Clinic / Saint Marys draw is a place called “Generose”.
The Generose building is where the crazys go. Now I know other people go there too, but the general consensus is that it’s for the crazys. So, a lot of the Generose patients, frequent Rochester businesses. Crazy people are crazy, but they still need somewhere to sleep when doing outpatient treatment. I’ve had quite a few people I’ve suspected to be Generose patients visit my downtown hotel, so I’ve become pretty good at identifying them.
Here, let me give you an example of how the latest suspect revealed herself.
Me: Thank you for calling Comfort Suites, this is DJ, how can I help you?
Crazy Person (CP): Hi, is this the Holiday Inn?
Me: No, this is Comfort Suites. (Didn’t I just announce that?)
CP: Oh good, I’m looking at your website now.
Me: What can I help you with?
CP: I will be coming “THE MAYO’S” buildings on December 28th and I need a place to stay.
CP: Now, I’m looking online and I see you have a AAA rate.
Me: Yep, we also have the Mayo Clinic rate which would be a little cheaper.
CP: Oh goodie! My husband’s in the military… well he’s not now but he was when he was younger.
Me: Yeah, the Clinic rate will still be less than the Military rate.
CP: Can I get the Clinic, AAA, and Military rate?
Me: No, our rates don’t stack, we just offer the lowest rate that fits your needs.
Okay, it’s been pretty normal up ’til now, here’s where it gets good.
CP: I see you also have a “Over 50, Mature Travelers” rate. (the modern way of saying “Senior Citizen”)
Me: Yeah, we do but ag…
CP: Don’t ask me how much I weigh!
Me:…
CP: I’m not gonna tell you how much I weigh.
Me: I don’t need to know how much you weigh, your weight doesn’t effect your room rate.
CP: Well good, because I’m not telling you how much I weigh.
Me: That’s not a problem….
CP: Okay, I see you also have a “Lake View” room, I “no comprehende”.
Me: Well, we have a Lake outside, so your room would have a view looking out at the lake.
CP: Ahhhhh….
Me: (No shit…)
CP: Do those have balconies on them?
Me: No they will just have a window looking out towards the lake.
CP: Oh, good… so I don’t have to worry about Spiderman shooting his web up and coming in my window.
Me: No, you won’t have to worry about that….
CP: Okay, well everything looks good, I’m gonna book this online. I’ll call you if I have any problems.
Me: Alright, have a nice day….
Tags: Hotel, Humor, Life, Work
December 26th, 2008 at 3:27 am
That lady sounds awesome.
December 26th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I would LOVE to hang out with this chick for a day…just to hear her thoughts on life and such…
December 27th, 2008 at 3:46 am
I’d bring her out drinking.