- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. .
Tags: Humor, Life, Religion, Thinking
May 4th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Hahaha, this is awesome.
May 29th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Hello, I’m also against gay marriage, but to be honest, you gave dimwitted reasons why gay marriage should be illegal. Your reasons are a bunch of lies and they are not true. You’re an embarrassment to the people against gay marriage.
May 30th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
First off, I’m not against gay marriage.
Second of all, go fuck yourself.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
You are all stupid. For those of you who said the reasons given were dimwitted and an embarrassment to the people against gay marriage, You are all idiots. Dont you know saracasm when you see it??