Dallas McLaughlin

So what is a “tool bag”?  In order to define a tool bag, we must first define a “douche bag”, and from there I will explain the difference between the two. A douche bag is the scientific name for people who show up in public wearing wife-beaters or oversized jeans. They can also be found wearing [...]

I’ve made my religious views very clear on this blog, thats what a blogs for right?  I’m trying not to come off as a Agnostic dick weed with nothing better to do than make fun of the religious, because religion can have its place in society when used correctly, but this video is too good [...]

Well this nerd from Kentucky named Brian, had the awesome idea of building “The worlds biggest Jenga tower.”  I can’t imagine there is a whole ton of competition in this area, but apparently this is the world record attempt.  Nothing good can come of devoting this much time to tiny wooden rectangles.  Watch and see [...]

Recently, I was watching some TV when it occured to me I had discovered the ultimate swear word. You see, you can say “Ass”, but you can’t say “Asshole” as they censor the “Hole”.  You can say “Damn”, but you can’t say “God Damn” since the “God” gets censored.  The simple fact that you have never [...]

The Emo A group of white, mostly middle-class well-off kids who find imperfections in their life and create a ridiculous, depressing melodrama around each other. They often take anti-depressants, even though the majority don’t need them.  Not to be confused with “Goth”.  Gothics want to kill everyone, Emo’s only want to kill themselves. Wardrobe: Emo’s can be found [...]

A couple months ago I was in our kitchen preparing an amazing grilled cheese lunch for Lizzy and I.  While in the process of preparing the bread, I began buttering one side.  At the very same time my fat cat, Jaws, was crawling around my legs.  I reached to place the bread in the pan [...]

Krokus -- Eat The Rich Late one night, while casually surfing channels at a friends house, we stumbled upon a music video by 80’s metal band, Krokus.  I truly believe Krokus was formed with the sole intention of providing us with the worst music video of all time, and they succeeded.  This video is so awful, [...]

The Guido A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area. Wardrobe: Tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear. Natural Habitat: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club [...]

Having spent the majority of my years in hotels, working every hotel job from top to bottom, I have been given the opportunity to meet many extremely unique people, as well as experience many unexplainable things.  I believe I have been put in every situation feasible, and found my way out of it, sometimes good, [...]

Parade season has come and gone. I knew it would be a long, cold winter with no more parade candy. I also found out I had one more unexpected opportunity to make a killing. I woke up August 17th having no clue it was the day of a parade. I soon realized what [...]